I was stretched out on the twin bed in my study trying to go over the equations for my math review. The summer session of 1986 I tried to tackle three classes. I signed up for math, psychology, and a generative transformational grammar class. So, now I found myself reviewing for a math and an English test. The time ticked on. I skimmed over the grammar review with a little frustration. This class was not the eye opener into English grammar that I had been hoping for, so I switched back to the concrete logical problems and finished solving them.
Getting up for a stretch, I brewed a pot of hot tea to treat myself for accomplishing most of my chores for tomorrow. I sat and strummed my guitar (the few chords I knew well) and hummed a few tunes while the tea cooled down a bit. As I continued to let my mind relax, I felt a strong urgency to continue to play. My Bible was nearby, so I opened it up and read some. Then, I sang the words on the page to the chords I was using.
It was as though I was sensing that God was yearning for me to abandon my studies for the night, only spending time in worship and meditation with him. Could my mind be playing tricks? Surely, this was just me wanting to push away from that boring grammar and math. Yet, I knew those stirrings. When I felt my heart pounding a lot harder than usual. The heat coming up around my neck... yes, I knew that was not just me coming up with an escape plan.
An hour passed. The time slipped away too quickly. Even though I felt invigorated and like I could have stayed up all night, I knew I needed the rest. I needed to lay out breakfast in the morning before leaving and make a list of lunch suggestions for the babysitter. Four hungry little mouths seemed always ready to devour every last bit prepared for them.
As I began to drift off, I thanked God for the refreshing time and asked for a blessing on my testing the next day.
Driving home from Edinburg back to Rio Hondo was always a nice ride through the countryside. Winding roads past a sugar mill then through sleepy little towns gave me an hour all to myself. I used this time to pull my thoughts together before returning home to unending activity.
I smiled as I thought about the exams and how everything I had spent time going over last night was exactly what I needed to succeed on the math mid-term. What a relief! Oooo, the grammar test was another matter. I felt like I was stabbing in the dark with those webs to interpret.
Breathing deeply a couple times, I finally started to plan the trip to the beach. Today was Thursday, and Friday during summers we faithfully headed out to South Padre Island for the day. The list in my head grew until I tired of this mental planning and stopped. Just lazily watching the road, I steered with the wind from the open window whipping my curly hair.
The night before was a good lesson in letting go and slowing down. I tend to have tunnel vision and go galloping on through the night until a project is completed. That internal list in my head never seems satisfied. But it was funny, I found that both grades from the exams were exemplary. An A on the math exam and the top grade out of over 100, in the grammar! I did not feel at all prepared, so I felt a little guilty for the grammar grade.
Did God help me with my grades because I set all else aside and worshiped that night? Don't know, but after that I always took the time to read stories to my children, walk the high school track, listen to music, and pick a little on my guitar when stress mounted up, or life got too serious. God always gave me the energy I needed to finish three years at the university with honors, while raising my beloved children. Keeping the priorities, it all worked out.
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