Saturday, April 23, 2011
Bad things Happen to Good People
Lance had a load fall on him when he was in his twenties and crippled him waist down for life. He thought his life was over, but years later, he was able to have children, and he has prospered at business, and never missed a beat with God. He is one of the front line singers and rolled out for the end of the pastor's message along with the others for a standing ovation by 4,000 in the crowd last night.
Martha and Josh Lopez were next. They had been expecting their first, who they were going to name Josh, when they miscarried. His sister, who was in drugs and was living in sin got pregnant with another baby, and planned to call it Joshua. Josh and Marsha were heart broken still and this seemed very insensitive of her, since that was their choice for their first child. They looked to God for healing and peace. Then out of the blue months later they were contacted by a relative who told them that the baby was in Florida and had been abandoned by his mother. They did not hesitate. They went to rescue Josh and later adopted him. So, their first child WAS named Josh and he has brought such joy into their household. God was preparing hearts as well as a place for this little guy.
Next, there was Mark, who is a photographer, who one day was leaving his studio and was hurt so bad in an accident right outside, on a Saturday afternoon, that they thought he was dying. Out of nowhere came a military young man who called for emergency help and then a cab driver stopped, prayed with him for his salvation, fearing the worst, and would not stop laying hands on him until the EMTs arrived. Actually, Mark said that the man's whole body was very hot from the Holy Ghost. He was so thankful that this young man persisted. He has a scarred face, but God healed and restored him.
Then there is Meka. She said goodbye to her husband as he went off to work. He was a high ranking officer in the army and took a flight on a Black Hawk helicopter that went down in Europe. He left that morning and did not return home. Now she is raising two little boys, ages 4 and 10. She stood by me in the choir on Thursday night. I know she has had three and a half years to heal, but I was sensing that her wounds were opened up and hurting afresh. I reached out and patted her back, she smiled a painful smile and said she was okay at the end of her testimony. Then we sang "When I Don't Know What to Do" and Cindy Magsig sings this with such clarity as her soul pours out through her solo parts. I praise God for these brave saints who shared their pain, their faith in God, and who have stood firm in their walk with God to encourage us to look up for our strength and peace.
This morning I read a post that a friend, Linda Chontos, wrote in her blog. I was touched by her struggle to reconcile a God of love allowing "bad" in our lives. We all know that they happen to everyone and yet sometimes we think we might be immune because we're God's kids, but more often than not, that is why we are targeted.
This blog of hers inspired me to write this morning. I have not even gone into much that I have experienced. I just don't know how to express so much that has happened, but I do thank God for the compassion, the perspective, the walk with Him as my constant guide, healer, lover, and best friend.
I have had many circumstances in my life that have been dramatic or traumatic. Many were not my doing at all. Others followed through my choices. I did not have any foresight of the things that would follow them.
Now that I face new challenges, I have struggled with the question: What is it to walk in faith in the face of this financial crisis? Just because of my personality, I feel like I am being irresponsible to just trust. Actually, we are doing all we can at this point and all avenues are being blocked. I call it our log jam.
My husband complimented me the other day and said I was really maturing in my faith. I looked to God and said, this is maturity? I just don't even let it cross my mind, it feels like denial, but actually, I know who the attack is from, so I am ignoring the enemy and waiting for God's timing for our finances to be released. We continue praising God the Almighty. I worship and thank God this Easter that He is in me, working through all Christians and wanting to make a difference in our world. This is the life! I would have no other!
By the way, "ignoring" and allowing God to work. Allowing ourselves to be His channels and trust in in His timing has started to loosen the log jam! In the midst of this I have retired from teaching which is totally insane considering our situation. I just know it is God. I received a prophecy last summer telling me to be bold and go forward with what God has placed on my heart. I have desired to be free to minister, rather than merely rent my brain. I am reaching out in faith to hold onto God and His vision for a ministry that he planted in my heart through the years of teaching. I may have rented my brain, but he was working my heart and giving me experiences that would lead me to my ministry.
So, I want to encourage you to be patient. Let God weave his perfect tapestry. You are a culmination of many events that make you just who you were intended to be. Be content to know that He stands back and says, "See that place in your life when you thought it was the pits? That night when you were crying because your heart was breaking? That was when we had that special moment and you saw how my heart breaks because my beloved on earth don't spend time loving me."
Family, things, entertainment, work, pleasure, the lure of sin, all get in the way and become more important. How His heart aches to bring us all into His kingdom of love. I am thankful to be a funnel on this Earth and I pray that I will always be faithful and demonstrate back to God how much I truly love and honor Him.